Usually for me, I always have a smile on my face, but there are times were my smile isn’t present. The reason is because my heart believed in love and when it fell for someone and once that person told me, “Oh I’m sorry, I only see as a friend,” my smile fades away.
Hearing those words crushes my heart very slowly. Every feeling I had for that person fades away like sand blowing away with the wind and going somewhere else. This happens a lot with me so I guess I’m used to it. You see, a girl like me doesn’t get that much attention.
It’s complicated for me because most guys don’t like how I am. I play football, I’m aggressive, I burp, I’m sweet, nice and thoughtful. There so many words I can say, but once my heart is in that mood, it shuts down, it gives up and feels so useless in this damn world. Then something happens, a new person comes in and saves me from all this depression and turns everything around. My smile is back and I’m laughing and having fun again.
This is who I am, most of the time everyone sees me by that or just football girl. See with me, my mood changes a lot. I’ll be all happy at first but then I go sad and depressed and my true friends see that there is something wrong and they try to talk to me to make me feel better. Once that’s over, I’m smiling again and I prefer to stay like that but there is always something that will try to get me down.
I tell my best that I will try to not let it overpower me, but it always does. The negative words are flowing in my head and whispering in my ear telling me everything they hate about me. Yet, there is a point where I stand up and say I’m done, I am stronger I can deal with anything that comes in my way.